Sunday, 14 December 2014

From the Village.....

12th Dec - 14th Dec 2014

The lane we would take to avoid the dusty main road
I have been in the little village of Hassan for just under a week now, and although there is little to do here, so far I quite enjoy the relaxed routine to ease me into my Indian adventure. Of course after a month here my brother, Chirag, is itching to leave and get back to civilisation. Our days go a little like this: wake up and have breakfast at the canteen – despite the spicy food burning my mouth to a crisp, read a little and occupy myself while Chirag goes to lectures, lunch at Mayur (local hotel restaurant), more busying oneself as there is no where else to go, then dinner and a drink or two at Suwarna (a slightly upmarket local hotel restaurant… the term upmarket is used loosely when in a village; the toilets are of the hole in the ground variety).
   I’ve had an Ayurvedic consultation during my time here to sort out all my bowel issues. I must say it is working a treat. The entire treatment including medicines cost a fiver, and I even had complimentary extensive yoga lessons to boot. In fact those yoga lessons proved to be a rather interesting hour of my life. After showing me all the complicated poses and praising me as her star student due to my flexibility, the yoga teacher proceeded to tell me about her life; that she had lost a lot of weight over the last couple of years (she showed me her post-marriage fat pics) due to a leg injury. I thought I would return the favour and teach her a few abs and ass moves to tone up. I was rather surprised when she struggled to perform some simple squats and plank, considering that she could fold up her body backwards so her head touched her feet.


Environmentally friendly
car-sharing
   So for our last day, to break up the monotony of village life, we have decided to do a spot of sightseeing. Only half an hour away, in the nearby towns of Belur and Halebidu, stands a collection of intricately carved Hindu temples built over nine centuries ago. About an hour late, again with the lack of urgency in this village, the car arrives to pick seven of us up.  This of course means we haven’t had time to eat lunch, thinking that we’d already be on our way by noon.

The front view of Kedareshwara Temple

   We’re finally on our way, driving past droves of goats, worker-men packed tightly into the back of trucks swaying in unison with each bump in the road, and dodging potholes. Lots of potholes. The first stop out of four is Kedareshwara temple, one of the smaller, quieter shrines, built in the 12th century. Perhaps because there were no other people there compared to the overcrowded larger temples, or because this was the first place we visited with a fresh attitude and not yet imploding with hunger, but this one was my favourite. As is customary in any place of worship in India, or any temple or mosque for that matter, we remove our shoes by the door and are free to roam the small, soap stone temple upon a well-maintained lawn. There’s something about my bare feet on the warm, holy stone that makes me feel grounded and instantly at ease. You can walk all the way round and take in all the sculptures, no two carvings the same it seemed, of various animals and episodes from the Hindu lore. Neither of us feels the need to engage in conversation as we stroll at our own pace round the temple.

   Unfortunately the tranquillity is short-lived. I begin to feel mighty impatient as we go from one crowded temple to the other; not bothering to take pictures what with the tens of hundreds of visitors tainting the scene. I’m in and out in ten minutes, but of course the problem with travelling in a large group is that there is always a few who want to faff about for hours. Before we even enter the famous Hoysaleswara temple peddlers and hawkers bombard us outside the gates. Chirag and I almost get away scot-free on account of our brown skin, whereas the group we are travelling with are mostly white and hassled even further. The hawkers push useless trinkets onto us at with the utmost persistence. No definitely doesn’t mean no with these guys:

Hoysaleswara: Trying to escape the crowds and bloody whistles
“Madam, small Shiva statue. Madam, flute. Sir, postcards, sir just ten rupees. Sir, map of Karnataka, Kamasutra book, look at all positions. Sir, you need, sir.”
   These lot aren’t quite as bothersome as the ridiculous shoe-guy at the front of the temple. It is apparently temple policy to leave ones shoes with the shoe-guy at a cost of two rupees, which of course I refuse to pay and discreetly slip my flip-flops into my bag. I’d have gotten away with it too if Chirag didn’t decide to do the same and then insist I put his shoes into my bag with the subtlety of a peacock’s mating ritual. Of course shoe-guy clocks us and tells us off, demanding we pay the two rupees. It’s not about the cost, which is a mere 2p in our money, but the very principle that this guy is making a profit for a completely unnecessary service and that too in a place of worship. How very dare he! I give him a tenacious glare and slip away while Chirag pays for his shoes, victorious that the bad tempered sod didn’t fleece a penny out of me.
   The scolding doesn’t end there, unfortunately. If I hear that stupid whistle one more time, someone is going to get it! I go to sit on the edge of the temple… PEEEEP!! Try to take a photo on top of the statue… PEEEP!! I look around to see if any of these plain clothed guards are around, and only then proceed to climb a ledge to get a good shot when I’m positive that there aren’t any in sight but alas… PEEEEEEEEEPPPP!! They are absolutely picking on me, as around me the locals seem to get away with worse. Next time I shall just smile, wave and continue on.


Manju helping me get my hurr did
   A few of us tire of the overcrowded temple quickly, having to wait for the others as they hire a tour guide to take them round. I can no longer ignore the rumble in my stomach and go in search of safe, peel-able fruit that won’t wreak havoc on my intestines. I spot a fruit stall with bunches of ripe, bright yellow bananas and head towards it but before I reach another fruit seller lady calls out to me. Although I have already decided on the other fruit stall, the way she beckons me to hers in an over familial, friendly manner as if she was waiting for my custom all morning, I can’t help but smile and comply. This feisty, little woman with a loud, nasal voice is called Manju, and already refers to me as ‘Anni’ as she asks me questions and asks to take a picture with me. I purchase a few bananas and a string of jasmine as I’d been eyeing up the local ladies’ hair decorations all day. I know she quotes me the higher, tourist price for the two items at first, but after tying the jasmine around my hair herself, taking a picture together and engaging in conversation, her in broken English and I in broken Hindi, I think she feels a bit bad for overcharging me. She breaks me off some juicy satsumas and hands it to me as a gift, free of charge.
   By now there’s just one more temple left to see and I’m beginning to get a little irritable seeing as the fruit didn’t fill the hole in my stomach at all, in fact it just made it growl louder. I’m tempted to stay in the car for the last one, but after realising this meant that cows and beggars would hover near the car window looking for food or money, I decide to endure another twenty minutes of being ‘whistle-warned’ by the temple caretakers, pushing through crowds, posing for yet more pictures and dreaming of the meal that we were about to attack right after
   We drive back closer to our accommodation where we have been promised a delicious buffet in a (uncharacteristic for Hassan) modern spa-hotel. As we walk up the well-kept lawn to the tranquil dining lodge, lanterns lit on either side of the path; of course I rush ahead leading my body with my vacant stomach, only to find that the dinner buffet doesn’t start for another two hours. Fantasising about paneer, naan, dosa, daal, even the odd continental cuisine was all in vain. Instead we just about satiated our appetites with plenty of gin/vodka and limbo-paani (fresh, sweetened lime water) and the only available snacks which were sub-standard club sandwiches. Word of advice for any traveller to India: whenever you see sandwiches on a hotel menu I urge you to avoid and go for the local food instead. After all, we are all here to experience a taste of the real India not a bloody British sarnie!

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